Back In the Saddle

No, not that damned Aerosmith song...I am back in the saddle of a mountain bike again. It also seems that I have (again and again and again) been neglecting the Blog world. New things in life:

• The kid that I own is 16 months old, walking and talking all sorts of crazy
• I am in a bowling league on Thursday nights....my average is nothing to rave about
• I am the proud new owner of a 2008 Specialized S-Works Enduro SL Carbon

I have a few things that I need to "fine tune" on the 'ol S-Works rig, but all in all it is a sweet, sweet rig that will be getting some use before the snow falls. The "list" on the Enduro is going to look something like:

Completely disassemble and overhaul the pivots
Tear down the fork and shock in order to replace the seals, bushings, etc
New cables and jacket
Overhaul the Juicy Ultimate brakes (Juicys are notorious for sticky pistons)

I Cant Handle This Bullshit

Fork showed in the mail today, and all of its oil was everywhere but inside of its legs. I am seriously so beyond sick and tired of people lying through their fucking teeth when selling their stuff...I mean really, how tough is it to be a decent human being?? I have bought/sold an ass-load of stuff on Ebay and have never ONCE had a problem with anyone...then the last couple of things I have scouted have been complete and utter nightmares. To say it bluntly, I'm pretty fucking sick of it. It really isn't that hard to list what "problems" the item your are selling has so the person on the other end has been informed of it and can then make a confident purchase. So here I sit in the same god damned spot I was before...with a jacked up fork that I can NOT ride on. This just reaffirms the fact that people generally equal shit. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but I'm not holding my breath.

"new" bike

So a couple of you have had to hear me bitch and whine about how the new (to me) bike that I just picked up has a whack ass fork and headset in it. Well, the headset is an easy (and by easy I mean cheap) fix....but a new fork, is NOT so cheap.....at least for me because I like nice shit. Anyway, I managed to find myself a bad ass NOS Manitou Sherman Jumper fork and not to mention....wait for it....its.....Winter Camouflage "color". This is a pretty awesome find actually, considering they are looked at as the best jumping fork ever made. Should be enjoying life on two wheels soon again!

Park Tool Professional Stand

I have myself a dank Park Tool repair stand that I would like to sell to someone, as I don't really use it near as much as I figured I would. The stand is a PRS-3 OS2 model...single arm, super burly, will hold any bike you could ever strap onto this hog. These guys retail in the high 4's to low 5's depending and the freight charge could choke a donkey...buy mine for $200, or trade me that sweet ass analog delay pedal collecting dust in your closet, word.

Also, I have a Thule rack that once sat atop of a Honda Pilot that I am looking to part with because....wait for it, wait for it....we traded the Pilot for an Accord. Rack setup includes: 52'' load bars, foot kit, two (2) Criterium stand up trays (the top of the line Thule makes) a 13 cubic foot bag, and a medium sized fairing with only the finest manufacturers stickers. The whole schmere is $400.....better than the $719.45 it retails for. Anything of interest? Holla at cha boy.

New Toy(s) redux

Although I was very excited to get a hold of a nice Telecaster from a gentleman from the City of Angels, I had a feeling deep inside that things would get complicated. Story goes like so: I am the master of spending lots of time on the interwebz finding the best shit for the cheapest-ish price....which is how I found my Telecaster. A nice (at least I assume he's nice) fellow named Larry who is from Los Angeles was selling his 1997 Tele Standard with various electrical and cosmetic upgrades for a price that was about $50 or so dollars less than anyone else out there...not to mention that I talked him into shipping it to me for an extra $25. The upgrades on said Tele were a new Seymour Duncan hot wound Humbucker that fits in a single coil routed mount, as well as a matching hot wound single coil in the neck position....other upgrades were a super nice aftermarket pick guard. After talking "shop" a bit, Larry explained that he builds his own tube amplifiers and ships everywhere which leads me to believe he has packaging down to a science (which he actually did after inspection). Now the part where this turns to shit...a little anyway.

I wait 5 days and a large box shows up on my front porch. I open the box and spend about 20 mins taking the stellar packing job apart and finally get to the guitar. I am so excited to play it I check the tuning quick and realize that there isnt a tuning machine for the High E string....its in the bottom of the box. Upon further inspection of the Tele I find that the guitar is NOT exactly what I was told it was. The Tele was some crazy ass version that was not a Thru Body strung model and instead of having the nice ass bronze compensated saddles it has some whack hard tail with surface rusted hardware....pissed. Not only were parts on the Tele "funny", but the pickups (which are Seymour Duncans) are actually some other model which isn't too big of a let down but still not what I was buying. The body of the guitar has some gnarly marks on it and the fasteners for the electronics are a bunch of crazy ass shit that should NOT be used on a guitar....let alone screwing together some A-holes rigged up compost bin in their backyard.

All in all, I happen to be friends with a gentleman who plays guitar for (and is an experienced guitar tech for) Janitor Bob and the Armchair Cowboys so all is not lost. Worst part about this whole thing is that I have to deal with UPS's claims department....which I would rather rip my penis off and throw it in the woods than have to do. Here's to buying shit that you can actually put your hands on before you buy and transport yourself...

The New Toy(s)

Fender Telecaster in Lake Placid Blue and a Peavey Classic 50 4 x 10

Brief Hiatus

Well hello again world, it has been a while. First off by "brief hiatus" I do not mean that I have taken some time away from wearing briefs....well, it technically could because I don't wear those ball constrictors anyway but....I digress. A few things have happened since the last post I made 2 or so months ago. Most important happening was that I am no longer an employee of Harlans Bike and Tour, nothing to speak of there it is what it is. I now work for a pork producer that offers me 10-17.5k more a year plus benefits ( I say 10-17.5 because there is a monthly bonus that is included at my place of business) ...its a bit of a drive but its fast paced work and has caused me to lose 12.3 lbs in my first 3 weeks of working there....bonus #2.

My last post was about Black Hills Fat Tire Festival so here is the skinny....we drove 5 hours, drank massive amounts of Busch Light, Miller High Life and managed to find 40oz PBR....score! The riding was dank as usual, was able to ride some cool shit that I would have never assumed was tucked away up in those Hills....Jason Jonas is hard at work building our 2nd installment of videos for the annual trip. One really bummer-ish side note about this was that I recently parted ways with the RFX....had some things that needed attending to and selling the rig was the smartest way to go about it. I did however pick myself up a nice Fender Telecaster and a tone-filled Peavey Classic 50 tube amp with 4 ten inch speakers to take up some of my time. I will pick myself up another dirt slaying monster, it will just be a bit later down the road...no biggie!

Lastly, the puny human that I call Ainsley just had her 1st birthday on June the 18th....we headed to Mitchell for a fun weekend of camping, sipping of brews and watching the kid go haywire on a massive cup cake.

Fat Tire Festival

So the Black Hills Fat Tire Festival is nearing....a handful more weekends and it will be time for me to get destroyed in the black mountain hills of Dakota. Last year I was unable to make this as my daughter was slated to show sometime around those dates....not this year, this year I have the green light so its game on. Lodging will be handled by Mr. Ross Sailor as his backyard can handle tents, otherwise dear ol dad lives there and would be more than happy to let a haggard crew of mountain bikers kick it in his oversized backyard....not to mention his hot water never goes away, he has a Rinnai. All in all I will be hotly anticipating this weekend of good times.

Ponca Nebraska

Sunday was such a nice day that a group of us decided that Ponca Nebraska was going to the be place that would get assaulted by a grouping of AM / FR bikes. 5 dudes packed up the Silver Bullet (Adams V70R) and headed on down. The trails down there are fan freaking tastic with the occasional tree or log in the way...seems it was a bit early for the parks people to get on top of trail maintenance. All was well though, as we ripped the place up and even managed to see Dana Dane pull of a crazy line on some boat docks that were lined up on the asphalt. One great day, that will lead to many many more great days!

The Mighty HammerSchmidt

So in my endless pursuit to make a great bike "better" I ordered up a Truvativ HammerSchmidt. The HammerSchmidt (if you aren't familiar) is Truvativ's way to revolutionize the crankset by basically combining a single ring crank that functions as a double (utilizing a Planetary and Sun gear setup) and a chain guide. Upon opening the box, I was a bit intimidated by all of the "crap" that it contained. All in all the install was actually very easy and looks super clean once installed. The most noticeable difference with the setup is the fact that you can shift whenever and however you want....pedaling backwards? it shifts....hit a massive kicker and are 30 feet in the air? it shifts.....want to pedal backwards while flying 30 feet in the air and let out a 20 second 3 octave fart? it shifts. The second most noticeable attribute to the 'ol Schmidt is the clearance....loads upon loads upon loads of clearance, in fact...there is a video of a rider rolling right over a 36" tall tree stump and he doesn't touch the crank. At the end of the day I am done messing with this bike....I swear. Time to put all sorts of mileage on it.

Holy Sheep Shit

Well I'll be a monkeys uncle...is that dirt on my bike?!? Real, actual, makes things dirty dirt.....why yes, yes it is. Me and my homie (yeah, I said homie) Dana Dane took our "you could jump off of a roof and not bother the suspension too much" bikes out to Newton Hills. I know, Newton is boring with the exception of a hill or 2 that pisses you off but hey...its close and I have NOT been able to ride on anything yet so....it works. Dana Dane (see above) recently wrangled himself a sweet, sweet long travel trail rig by the name of Zealot....which hails from the Brodie clan. If you have not heard of Brodie, look em up...those crazy ass Canadians in BC know what they are doing when it comes to bikes that you shouldn't be riding at Newton Hills. At any rate, Dana and myself thoroughly enjoyed the hiking trails that start at the Lookout Tower. I ran into a choice dude at Newton as well, good ole Mike Eggebraten...who was in tow with a certain Kluck character as well as a few guys from Scheels. All in all, today was quite honestly the perfect day to ride and I could only dream of a place that has that sort of climate on a daily basis....365 days a year.

Riding Again

Yesterday (wednesday) was my first real day of riding again. I had an appointment with dear Dr. Bell that was supposed to be my last and as it turned out it was. It felt great to get back on a bike after so damned long. The Van Dessel that I am riding feels like a rocket with the 42:16 gearing that I am running...plans are to take this pig on LBL as well. All in all it was a successful day on a bike.

Surly In Cans

A few people already heard me run my mouth about how Surly is now available to liquor stores in 4-pack pints on my Facebook page....so I'm going to open my mouth again....here. Surly is available in So Dak in the 4-pack pint configuration. The liquor store that I lend a hand at has NOT brought any into the store yet, but....I have voiced my concern about said situation and it is being taken care of. Surly shall flow from TNT very, very soon. I have a pretty good idea that my paycheck will probably be turned into Coffee Bender or any of the others to choose from on a regular basis. Joy!

Commuter Style

For a while now I have only had one, yes one, bike. In an attempt to build up a spectacular mountain slaying machine, I aborted the other bikes that I owned and built up a Turner RFX. In recent news, I have found myself a nice little rig by the name of Country Road Bob. CRB (as I will call him from now on) is a single speed 'cross / commuter / do-it-all rig that the fine people at Van Dessel manufacture. I have been so lucky as to find myself a CRB that does NOT have the goofy ass "s-shaped" down tube...which in my humble opinion looks like a bicycle that did not heed the warnings and decided to keep living on Three Mile Island. All in all, this thing will be stiff as Skeeters Peter (yeah, a Cheech and Chong reference) after I give it the little bit of love that it deserves. Looks like I will NOT have to borrow a bike for LBL after all. Carry on.

Flandreau

So in an attempt to go out and do something different Angie and I went to Flandreau. I know, that wasn't really all that different considering its a pretty common thing for most people in So Dak to do. The main reason was to go and eat some cow at Mad Mary's steakhouse. I will say (although I'm not a huge steak eater) that the 7 oz Sirloin and 1/4 rack o ribs special for $13.99 was well worth the $13.99. The ribs had a wicked good sauce on them and the sirloin was covered with mushrooms and onions, so life was good. We did unfortunately donate about $40 worth of quarters to the Native Americans who own said casino, so....we have that going for us.

Whatev

So although my 'stache kicked all of the asses of other 'staches in the area...I decided to let it go. I was actually creeped out more than anyone else, I mean c'mon.....every morning waking up and forgetting its on my face until I look in the mirror. Anyway, in other news...I have been hitting up the gym on this ridiculous machine I call my ankle. It actually feels really great to ride a stationary bike, although boring as all hell. The best part is sitting in the sauna and/or the hot tub...probably not too smart as probably every unwashed ball sack in the place has probably touched that water...which has touched my incision line, shudder. All in all, things are progressing...Fat Tire Festival in Spearfish here I (and Adam and Jason and Dana and Dusty and Porter) come.

Almost Forgot

Now, I do know that being within a couple hundred yards of a school looking like this is a horrible idea but.....its Mustache March, put up or shut up.

Ankle Update

So since I have nothing else to bore you people with I will toss this nugget of goodness out there...I can walk without the assistance of crutches. Now, to most of you this is of no concern because...well...who cares right? Well, to me this was rad to say the least....although I HAVE been a shitty patient and decided to bear weight on this stupid thing a week or so early (think me with WAYYYYY too many beers in me hobbling through the really fun night at QBP). At any rate, I am told that I have 4 weeks of using the boot on a daily basis before I can walk all terrible-like in a regular shoe. The only good thing about this experience is that people treat you like you have a handicap tag tattooed on your forehead...score! Aside from that, the worst part is telling the weak ass story 1.3 million times. Well, I am going to go walk on the treadmill for a mile or so since we have one of those contraptions now....next, I am trying for a stationary bike like the Schwinn Pro or something cool like that...you know, so I don't break my other ankle...

Bike Swap Tomorrow

Just like the title says...Bike Swap Tomorrow, show up with your cool, not so cool and downright shitty stuff...one mans trash is another mans treasure. Its for a great cause, putting some dank ass single track in this city crafted by some people who call themselves FAST. Join FAST as well, there will be sign up sheets at said Bike Swap along with some T-Shirts that you might remember having seen before that will go towards the project as well. I'll be there along with my co-worker Sean (I'll be the fat guy with the beard that only goes to 3 now) so say hello and buy some cool shit from somebody down there.

Neighborhood Meeting # 2

There isn't anything I can put here that you don't know if you were there....and most of you who follow me were. Here is my contribution:

When (more like if) I make it to the age(s) of the upset patrons of the Leaders Park Area Township Regional Section thing, I will NOT be crotchety...below is a list of things I will do and / or have:

1. Bikes in my garage that get ridden daily
2. A sweet old picnic table that I WILL let you turn over and ride down the sledding hill
3. Yard Gnomes in terrible poses (think awkward sexual or Gnome Nativity)
4. A wife with a "weight problem" who will still sunbathe without a monster fence, because she doesn't really give a shit
5. Beers...really cold ones that as long as you look 14 you can have

Dig it.

Frostbike 2010

Just got home from Frostbike....ok well, I got home about 4:45 but I digress. This was my first Frostbike experience and I must say that it was more fun than a barrel of monkeys...really. Frostbike is sweet because you can walk around a huge warehouse full of distributors who actually want you to talk to them (unlike Interbike) and let you play around with all of their new (and current) shit! I would have to say that the coolest people there were the Surly guys and girls which is a no brainer but I would also say that Woody from Hope was also a bad ass dude as well. All in all it was a great trip that really got my blood boiling for another year of building cool bikes and fixing some shitty ones. The real highlight of the trip was this morning at Cane Creeks headset seminar. Not only did we get to learn some really valuable information about Cane Creeks line and their expertise BUT we were also given a sample kit which included a FREE 110 headset. For those of you who are unaware of the 110, it is literally the BEST headset that money can buy...no joke. My years of being a mouth piece of Chris King headsets has fallen the wayside. Don't get me wrong, King and his people are masters of machining and hands down have the best bearings that you can drop coin on BUT where they fall short is the lack of the split compression ring that they don't want to pay Cane Creek to use. All said and done, the o-ring system that King uses in place of the split compression ring likes to distort and lets the cup smash into your steerer tube over and over again causing scoring...which is NOT good. I will however be putting a Chris King bottom bracket on my bike (if I don't spring for Hopes ceramic one first).

Less steel, same amount of Ti

Had an appointment to kick it with my Orthopedic Surgeon today in order to harvest the staples that were at the time holding my skin together. Just as I assumed, the procedure went off without a hitch so that makes one more small step for healing kind. Although I am a few ounces lighter minus the 29 staples, I still have this (and will continue until I'm a dead man) Titanium stuff holding my bones straight. Good news is I only have 3-4 weeks of crutches left....bad news is, I still have 3-4 more weeks of crutches left. The world keeps turning, so I'll keep bitching.

Baby-less

This weekend our kid was taken out to the west side of the state which left us with some time do "whatever the hell we want". Friday night for no good reason we decided to go out to the Red Eye bar for a beer or two, which was decent. Saturday night was Ang's work christmas party out at Dakota Vision Center....this is a good time. The mother of an employee whipped up a MASSIVE schmorgasbord of excellent food and I also managed to find myself more than a few Amstel's at the bottom of the cooler....not too shabby. The night ended with a small group of us going to Woodys Bar....the new Liebrary replica across from the Thirsty Duck. I will say, I was pleasantly surprised....it wasn't exactly how it thought it was going to be and actually had some patrons who hold doors for crippled types (a.k.a. ME). A couple of Blue Moons with orange slices went down nicey nice (high five) and all was well.

Lee Majors

Today was my day to have the busted ass ankle that I own fixed. Check in time was 9:45 am at the Sanford Surgical Tower, which led to an IV and some TV watching. At roughly 11:30 I was wheeled into the operating room and I hopped up onto the table with youthful abandon. The next couple of minutes were the strange ones. An anesthetist explained how a drug to make me drowsy was coursing through my veins as we spoke and as the mask pumping pure O2 was put over my mouth I was told to take in a few deep breaths. It only took two breaths for my face to start tingling and in an attempt to be a complete smart ass I attempted to give the ol' Borat two thumbs up and say "nicey nice"....I'm pretty sure I managed to get out "ni.......". The cool and/or goofy thing about being put under is how you manage to lose so much time...I mean, one second I'm on the table and it seems like 3 seconds later I am in Recovery talking stupid to the wall....when in all actuality its been over an hour and I have what looks like a caterpillar for a leg. All in all, with all of the new additions to my ankle area you all might as well start calling me Col. Steve Austin.

No good...no good at all

Things have been going pretty well lately with finished projects and plenty of things going on at work. I guess I should have figured that something bad would happen. On my way out the door to work a shift at TNT earlier tonight, I managed to find a small patch of ice on the last step that caused me to snap my ankle like a twig. That was by far the most pain I have EVER felt in my existence and was actually the first bone(s) I have broken in my 28 years on this planet. The Medial and Lateral Malleolus suffered fractures and need to be repaired via titanium pins....joy. At the moment I am feeling OK, as the Vicodin is coursing my my brain. Do yourself a favor and salt the hell out of any area that might be icy in your neck of the woods.

Finito

I have finally finished the Project RFX and I must say, I am certainly happy with the results.

The build was a bit different than originally planned, but I think its also a bit BETTER than planned so...here goes:

2006 Turner RFX in British Racing Green
2010 Fox Van R shock
2007 Fox Talas 36 RC2 fork (20mm) w/upgraded Enduro seals
Hayes Stroker Trail hydros (8") w/ upgraded Goodridge steel braided lines
XT rear derailleur and shifters
LX front derailleur
Thomson setback post topped off with a Brooks Swift
Race Face Diabolous crankset w/ Dangerboy toothed bash guard
Hadley Racing hubs laced to DT Swiss EX5.1D hoops via DT Swiss spokes
Continental Rubber Queen tires in 2.4 width
Oury grips on a Syncros Gain riser bar all hooked to a Hozfeller stem
FSA Pig heavy duty headset

My favorite part of the bike is the bolt on thru axle for the rear, should stiffen things up nicely back there. Now....to ride it! On a side note, the Surly Karate Monkey that was once mine....will be mine once again. It never ends.

Alive-ness

It seems I have fallen off of the radar AGAIN for an extended period of time, shit'll happen. At present things have been a bit busy in life...I have taken a second "fun" job as a liquor jockey at TNT Liquor in the Eastway Center. Aside from the second job I have been trying to find things to do at the shop (along with everyone else) as its somewhat slow. Lately I have been painting anything that looks like poop and changing it to Battleship Gray, not to mention putting the finishing touches on Project RFX. The 'ol Turner shaped up to be a bit different than the original list had it looking...but things are nice; I have all of the parts in hand with exception on the wheelset that should be showing up sooner rather than later. Much like Snakebite, my cronies and I have built up a list of spring/summer/fall type goodness involving two knobby tires...below is the list of things that are somewhat concrete:

may 14-16: FAST kick off (ie tim mutha truckin wegner)

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may 28-31: Black Hills Fat Tire Festival (BHFTF) http://www.bhfattirefestival.com/

--depart fri am / return sun pm

--stay at ross's or ant's pop's (ie free lodgin)

--enjoyin the culture of new belgium and the free guide service of ross sailor

--only payin for food and brews while gas is split 4-ways (volvo or taurus x)

--ant, jonas, adam, dana...?

--bee n friends may join from wy

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june 17-20:

or

june 24-27: CO Front Range

--depart wed pm / return sun pm

--stay at scottie j's (ie free lodgin)

--meet with COMBA (similar to FAST)?

--ride Buffalo Creek and other infamous trails

--ant, jonas, adam, jon r, ross...?

--bee n friends may join from wy

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july 16-18: MORC trail ridin

--stay at Adams humble abode (ie free lodgin)

--ride Leb, Murph, Teddy, Afton, Hillside, etc...

--ant, jonas, chad (bee's lil bro), jon r, pierson, mikesee, etc...?

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august 27-29: Salsa 2-4 http://www.salsa24fest.com/

--stay at Adams humble abode (ie free lodin)

--registration is approx $85 prior to July 1st (goes towards MORC and get free socks and t-shirt)

--must bring all gear; night, cold, rain, summer, sleeping, etc...

--convince manya fans from sufu to join in the festivities

--ant, jonas, adam, pierson...?

So gnaw on that chunk o fatness and feel free to come join the good guys and help bring home the big win (my Full Metal Jacket way of saying "come along").